“I Can Only Be Myself”

Yesterday, I received an e-mail from a reader I’ve been in contact with for the past few weeks. He provided some great feedback about things to consider, and after thinking about them all last night, I arrived at a conclusion: “I just want to be myself”.

One thing he pointed out is some of the content I share with you — my readers. There’s a mix of my personal and professional life, with other random things sprinkled on. Before each post, I often ask myself what is appropriate, and if I should share it. Should I be “brutally honest” about who I am, or just write things to be accepted?

There’s a reason why this web site bears my name — it’s about the only place, outside of a few friends, where I can truly be myself. For most of my life, I have allowed others to define me through their judgment of me. I always worried about how others perceived me, because I knew the color of my skin was an invitation to be unfairly judged.

I want this web site to be an honest reflection of who I am — a diverse and open-minded individual who has both succeeded — and failed — in his life. For so long, I’ve worked to simply be accepted by others, and I’m tired of trying to “fit in” to simply belong or to avoid being unfairly judged, which is why I started this web site more than seven years ago — it’s a place where I can share what I’m thinking and feeling. There are no rules or guidelines to follow — the only requirement is that I be myself and remain honest.

I did not start this web site to attract a certain audience — it was made to reflect my diverse interests in life and everything I encounter or feel. I don’t want my own domain to become a place where I don’t feel welcomed to be myself, for the fear that I will be judged or criticized by people who don’t even know me personally — I’m tired of feeling that way.

I want this web site to be a place where people can connect on an honest level with another human being — me. Again, it is a complete reflection of who I am, and my world is full of rich thoughts, emotions, ideas and feelings. If anyone wants to judge me because of one post, I only have one thing to say to them: “I don’t care what you think of me.”

I’ve made a life of proving the impossible to myself and others. I’ve had my own 15 minutes of fame several times over now. I’ve commanded the respect and admiration of some of the world’s richest and brightest people. I’ve had amazing times in life, and I’ve had disappointing ones, too. I’ve spent my life tearing down myths and supposed “standards of living”. I’ve been working toward denouncing concepts that have been separating like human beings for centuries. I educate myself on a daily basis about the world of business, finance, and more. At my age, I’ve accomplished so much — and these accomplishments are largely unknown to the visitors of this web site, unless they read.

The bottom line is that at the end of the day, I simply want to be myself — not anyone else to be “accepted”. I’ve never been one to follow trends or beliefs, and I’ve done quite well by not doing so — and I won’t change now. I view life and living a lot differently than the majority, and I want this web site to reflect that.

So, for those who are looking for me to write about one topic, or to focus on one thing — this web site isn’t for you — because I have a lot of interests, ideas and thoughts. The only image I am here to maintain is that of my own — an intelligent and open-minded human being who has feelings and thoughts like everyone else. I am not here to conform to anyone’s “standards” — this is my web site, not anyone else’s.

Everyone visiting my site come for a reason — because they enjoy connecting with someone who’s honest and human. I couldn’t have it any other way. I’m not changing anything about my life to appease anyone. You either accept me as I am, or you don’t. I didn’t build this web site for anyone but myself.

Thanks for reading and understanding.

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