I’m Just a Guy with a TON of IDEAS (and SOLUTIONS)!
If I could best describe what I do in life, it would be as simple as telling people this:
I do a lot of thinking about life, while exploring ways to solve complex issues in society and where to be most effective with inspiring people. Micah Baldwin has a recent post about NOT being an entrepreneur — Just a business guy. For years, I always grappled with the term entrepreneur. I wanted to give meaning to all the business experiments I’ve tried since I was 12 years old, but I also wanted to expose my creative side as well.
These days, I don’t tell many people I’m an entrepreneur. I tell them I’m an imagineer and social media producer. The former describes everything I love, am passionate about and am capable of doing. It’s a combination of all the ingredients which make me who I am: A thinker and dreamer with a huge imagination.
With a dream and imagination, your potential is limitless, so why border yourself with titles which inhibit your greatest abilities?
A ‘More Perfect Union’ Indeed: Moving Beyond Race
This video is in response to Barack Obama’s recent speech on race in Philadelphia. The text of my video response is below.
With profound inspiration, I speak from the heart that America, our home and nation, is in need of great change. Barack Obama’s speech was the beginning of shifting the tide of change, which brought forth the reality to the conscience of million Americans, that our homeland is need of great repair. However, I want to go beyond simply addressing the issues of race in our country. I want to go beyond finding solutions to our division and resentment. I want to go beyond the color of our skin.
Instead, I want to encourage my fellow Americans to be bigger than labels. We are better than ideas which tell us we are separate, yet equal. We are far more intelligent than those who exist to maintain power and control over the people. We are greater than the conditioning which tells us that we’re different, when we’re so much alike.
We can and will overcome the social disease that is race. We can rise above centuries of social oppression to finally see the light. We can teach each other to see beyond the limitations we’ve learned to disable rational thought. We can recover from our past and realize a brighter future.
My fellow Americans. We must do more than existing as different, but equal people. We must learn to embrace the truth of a reality that is unknown to many of us. A reality that no man in power wishes you to know. A reality which harbors the knowledge to free our minds and carry forth the truth we all need to hear and see.
We are, and always will be, a branch of one. Do not for a moment believe that we are different, for we are not. We’ve been told all our lives how to think, live and interact with each other, all while the truth is overshadowed with myths, lies and deceit. Indeed, it is our moment to be a more perfect union. A union that is free of social ideas such as race, which only serve to maintain the division among like human beings.
It is this moment where we not only talk about solutions, but also realize where we need to be as a people and nation. We can be the point of great change throughout the world, if only we so desire to unseat ourselves of complacency and outdated beliefs. Race is an idea that we must collectively demolish, so that future generations can enjoy a society that’s free of social constraints that should have never existed in the first place.
We can do this, America.
Dream: A Moment in Space
Late last night, I had some pretty cool dreams. The most vivid one was my time in space. I was living on a stationary platform, exposed to the elements of space. It was rather strange, because, small movements would tilt my bed, and any wrong move would have me upside down staring into space. Freaky, eh?
This platform also seemed to be a place for other human beings. I recall being in the company of a few men and women. People also stopped by from other platforms. I also recall the brightness of the Sun and the wonderful glow of the Earth. The dream literally came to a crashing halt, when something went terribly wrong, and the entire platform careened back to Earth. We ended up crash landing near a beach in Ohio.
The next thing I recall is being at home.
Is My Heart Empty (Or Am I Just Numbed?)
There are so many things I struggle with on a daily basis. My mind is filled with a million thoughts that I often feel helpless of ever fulfilling. There are so many things I want to do, but feel paralyzed to ever do anything (Who’s actually going to stand with me?) I seem to revisit so many things from the past to understand the present (and future). Somedays, I’m simply drained by everything around me and eventually end up taking a nap or disconnecting from the world to slip into my own world.
One of my biggest flaws in life has been my ability to love too freely and openly. As a child, I had the overbearing presence of my mother, but her love was undeniable (even when she whipped me like a mad woman). I’m not sure where or how I became such a loving person (It wasn’t my father, because I can only recall him abusing drugs and my mother, although there are memorable pictures of us together), but somehow, I was born to love.
During the earlier years of my life, I always attempted to inspire my family with jokes and love. Nothing was more important to me than seeing my family together and happy. I loved being around them and I enjoyed being surrounded by loving people. It just made me feel great all over.
I can recall “falling in love” with my first ever crush as a child. I was head over hills for this girl to the point I cried. I don’t recall telling her of my feelings, because after all, we were just kids. Throughout elementary and middle school, there would be more girls I’d admire (although I never “fell in love” with them), but I rarely ever communicated my feelings, simply because I never felt these girls were interested in someone like myself (after elementary, I was a loner, didn’t have a circle of “buddies,” and was mostly quiet and reserved.)
When I turned 17, I fell hard for an attractive girl I met online who lived in Pennsylvania — But only after being told so many things that alluded to her interest in something more than friendship. I even whipped myself into shape: I lost 75 pounds within four months, simply because I didn’t want to be a fat kid meeting a slender, tall woman. We met in person a few times, but then it soon became evidently clear that I was being misled. While I valued her friendship, I was certainly hoping for more based on the indicators I was reading. Suddenly, hope became depression, and I slipped into an abyss of tears for days on end — It’s probably the most I’ve ever cried in my life (I think this had a larger impact than the final separation from my ex.)
At 19, I had my first ever girlfriend (I’m of course leaving out dozens of women I’ve casually met, but we’ll focus on the important ones). Due to my observations of my peers over the years, I believed I was terribly late to the game of dating. I actually felt quite embarrassed about it, but it was an opportunity that simply happened: I became friends with a former instructor’s niece and the rest is history. Unfortunately, I wasn’t a fan of the dynamics of our relationship: She went to school in Ohio, while I lived in Michigan. Plus, I wasn’t comfortable about nature of her school: It was known for frequent parties and I didn’t have good vibes about her environment, friends or commitment to our relationship.
I ended the relationship. (There were several good reasons for doing so, and I believe to do this day that I made the right decision to protect myself in the long run).
In between my first girlfriend and my next one, I continued meeting and interacting with different women. I later realized that most of the women I met and interacted with, wanted more than the simple friendship I desired. There was a good span in my life where I had no interest in dating anyone — I simply wanted to make some good friends and figured that, eventually, I’d meet the woman that was intended for me in a relationship.
When I turned 24, I met a seemingly mature young lady from Canada. We would go on to have interesting conversations about life and everything else, and a few weeks later, she was at my doorstep to visit me. Right off the bat, she knew she wanted a relationship — I did not. I was content living and being alone, doing what I wanted (when I wanted), and being free of any stress. Internally, I strongly opposed her proposal for a relationship, but then I later decided, “What could it hurt?” We later got engaged (which, again, I sharply opposed internally), then married (yep, I opposed that too).
I am leaving out a TON of details here. However, I’ll sum it up perfectly: It was a disaster. I lost practically everything I’d created for myself as far as a comfortable life is concerned. For several years, I’d rehash over the new home I walked away from (I was 95% into closing the deal), having my own place to live, a car, an abundance of resources, etc. I couldn’t stop whining about how badly I fucked up my life, all because I didn’t have the strength to overcome the challenges I was being faced with.
The one thing I never dealt well with was love and disappointment, and this final disappointment was too much to bear. It cut me deep and wide, and I’d spend the next few years being tortured by this woman and her presence, getting together and breaking up again, and so on. It was the beginning of an amazing transition in my life — One that I’m not sure was for the best, but certainly for the well being of maintaining my happiness and sanity in life (I guess this started my transitioning of internalizing my pain, growing distraught over the traditional and assumed roles of men and women, and detesting the idea of dating altogether. You could even say that I grew to literally hate women of my generation at times, as they practically angered me with their princess-like personalities and attitudes.)
Looking back on all of these experiences, from losing at love to the death of my father, or being wronged by a family member as a child, I often wonder what has happened to me as a person, and most importantly, my heart. People tell me that my heart is closed, that I’m cold and that I don’t give people chances, and I can’t say that I disagree. However, despite everything, there’s still a burning desire deep within to experience love (or “pair bonding”, whatever it really is) for once in my life. I have no idea what it’s like to be loved by a woman who understands, appreciates and is committed to me.
Regardless of the outcome, I’ll live my life, no matter what.
Anonymous: I Need Your Help
Dear Anonymous,
I’ve watched your ongoing battle with Scientology with great curiosity. You’ve succeeded in making yourselves heard and you’re sending a great message: Enough is enough!
Well, I want to send the same message to Americans, the mainstream media and others. I do not have the financial power, global network or passionate peers to be clearly heard at the moment. I think I’ve reached my breaking point with the mainstream media with its coverage of Eliot Spitzer and the prostitute he slept with. I am sickened by our country’s obsession with such news (if we can call it that), and I want to send a powerful message: We must change our ways in America.
Our country is rotting to its core and most Americans seem only concerned with their material possessions and what they’re told to do (yes, we are like robots). Our government, media, religions and social constructs perpetuate the many problems I recognize, but few ever bother to question or learn about them. Thus, I realize that it must take a bold and visible campaign to be heard. The only issue is that I cannot do this all alone. I need other passionate individuals who feel the same way I do: Those who are open-minded, questions society and principles, etc.
I’d appreciate advice and guidance on this matter. Even better would be your participation to help deliver the message to the masses as you’re currently doing with your war on Scientology.
I look forward to the conversation.