Late-Night Movie: ‘Pineapple Express’
Tonight, I’m going to see the Seth Rogen and James Franco comedy, ‘Pineapple Express’, at Midnight. From the trailers, it looks like a hilarious movie and Seth always seems to come through with an entertaining flick. I’m all about having a good laugh!
An Evening with the Front Range Bloggers Meetup
Here are photos from tonight’s Front Range Bloggers Meetup here in Denver. We meet bi-monthly and there’s always a great turnout. Lots of conversation tonight about blogging!
Screenshots: Apple iPhone’s ‘Battery Indicator Bug’
I mentioned today that I thought my iPhone 3G replacement was a ‘miracle phone’. For hours, the battery indicator remained at 100%, but soon, my gut instinct shattered the myth: My new iPhone 3G (16GB) was lying to me. Not long after, my iPhone suddenly complained that it had less than 10% battery life — All in a matter of seconds!
Read: Apple users note ‘battery bug’ on iPhone forum
Below are screenshots of the inconsistencies with regard to available battery life. You should note that depending upon the application and the status bar used, you’ll see a difference in the battery level indicated. On some screens, you’ll notice 100% battery life, while others show otherwise. Supposedly, Apple PR says this is a confirmed bug and will be fixed in an upcoming release. The best thing here is that it’s not hardware related and can be addressed via software.
Let’s hope that the purported 2.0.1 or 2.1 firmware release for the iPhone is released soon. Otherwise, there will be many iPhone 2.5G and 3G users whom are unsure of their phone’s battery life.
Incest and Suicide: A Personal Account
Incest and suicide. It’s two topics we tend to shy away from, but I want to hit them head on right here on my blog. These are topics I’ve never discussed openly here — Only in private with a select group of friends and family. As I’ve mentioned on many occasions, I believe this is the only place in the world where I can come and truly be myself. This is a very special place to me.
Incest
What came to mind when you read the word above? How do you feel? Does it make you angry? Sad? Indifferent?
Incest is something many American families do not talk about. For many, it’s a secret which goes to the grave. Over the years, I’ve sought in-depth knowledge of this perplexing issue which affects many families not only in America, but around the world. Is it an act of power? An attraction to one’s vulnerability and lack of defense? Is it psychological? Incest is, I believe, a common reality for many families.
As a child, I experienced incest with a family member. The episodes would begin well after everyone was asleep. He would awaken me late in the night, manipulating me to perform various acts with him. At the time, I was too young to comprehend the significance of these events, but after they ended and I grew older, I realized the horror of what I experienced.
Due to the frequency of these ‘episodes’, I never bothered to question what was occurring. It was something routine and with a family member I trusted. For many years, I never uttered a word about this secret. I didn’t want to harm the innocence of him or the health of my family.
At the age of 17, I broke my silence and told a friend. She was someone I felt would understand and much to my surprise, she shared a secret in return. It was a relief to finally tell someone! Soon after, I also told my Mom. She instinctively knew which family member I spoke of, and when she pressed for confirmation, I declined to reveal his identity for the sake of protecting him. I believe this experience was the primary contributor to my lack of self-esteem on occasion as a child and adolescent.
The weight of incest is a heavy burden for any child, adolescent or adult to carry. It truly saddens me to know that so many people are suffering in silence due to fear, shame or guilt. Their morale and confidence are at an all-time low. They question their identity, who they are and why they were chosen. It’s an unfortunate battle to fight alone and some never win.
I chose to further embrace my values of love and respect. I challenged myself to overcome this experience. I won the battle.
Suicide
Few people are aware that I’ve ever considered taking my own life. Well, it’s true. When my Dad died 17 years ago, I couldn’t accept the fact that he was gone. I wanted to be with him, because there was so much left for us to share and experience. I was highly distraught, regardless of the fact that my Dad wasn’t an instrumental part of my life. I wanted to leave with him so that we could rejoice in heaven.
Shortly after his funeral, I started a series of counseling sessions with a great therapist. With each session, the urge to commit suicide lessened. I also started the slow process of accepting my Dad’s death and continuing with my own life. It wasn’t easy. Even today, I still have thoughts of my Dad and what could have been if he were still alive.
Beyond the death of my Dad, the thought of suicide has occurred on several occasions. One thing I’ve struggled with is understanding my purpose here on Earth. Given all that I’ve achieved in my young life, why would I question my purpose? Well, there are a lot of unanswered questions. Deep within my existence, I’ve long known that there was something special and unique about myself. It’s evident in the history of my life to this present day.
The burden that I carry today is unfair to myself. I want to be all things that is great change in life. I want to see an end to things which have long complicated my existence in this world. Sometimes, suicide seems to be such an attractive solution. I wouldn’t have to burden myself with figuring out how to change the world. I wouldn’t have to worry about how people perceive me. I wouldn’t have to spend another day depressed about all of the world’s problems and how to fix them.
For some, suicide is freedom. It’s a liberating act which frees one’s soul to move beyond the sphere of a controlled and distorted reality that most are oblivious to. This fact has been the root of my unhappiness and disdain for humanity for many years. This altered reality and facade we call ‘life’ has long inspired what life could be like elsewhere in the universe. I long for a reality that isn’t manipulated and shifted by the greed for control of the mind and humanity.
There are no guarantees. I can only do my best to focus less on the world’s issues and more on living a balanced and happier life, because in this era, the change I desire will not occur in my lifetime.
What You See, Is What You Get
There are some folks who think I’m a hypocrite and that I live an alternate lifestyle here on my blog. That couldn’t be more false. This blog is the only place in the world where I can truly be myself, while sharing my deepest thoughts, frustrations, disappointments and more. Between my blog, lifecast, Twitter, articles and the online communities where I participate, there aren’t any secrets about who I am, what I am and what I believe in, as evident in these posts:
Is My Heart Empty (Or Am I Just Numbed?)
Mass Media’s Influence on Dating (and Why I Refuse to Participate)
5 Reasons Why I’m Single
Is Dating THAT Bad in North America?
I Lost My Heart, Only To Find It Again
There are friends and mentors alike who believe I should ‘tone down’ on my ‘rhetoric’ about social constructs, dating and women, just so I don’t run the risk of offending people. However, I believe this is the exact reason why people don’t pay attention to details, because most things are far too sugarcoated, rather than told in the way it should be.
There was a time in life when I held everything in. I wouldn’t dare express my opinion, for I feared that I wouldn’t be liked because of them. For example, I stopped believing in the idea of religion and “God” when I was about 10 years old. Unfortunately, it was difficult to communicate this, and I often swallowed my own values to appease others. That’s just one of many examples.
Today, I am pretty rough around the edges with regard to many things. I don’t hide my disdain for dating or women at times. Also, I have very little tolerance or patience these days for those who cannot see the obvious. All of these things are very apparent to thousands of people each month. What keeps these people coming back? It’s my willingness to live an open and honest life — No matter how harsh or kind.
There will always be people attacking my principles, views and values. This is nothing new to me. It comes with the territory. I liken these individuals to crabs that are obsessed with hindering another’s progress. They can’t stand the thought of someone who wishes to remain independent of society’s constructed reality.