Poly Lifestyle Is Changing My View of ‘Traditional Relationships’
Last night, I was in the company of several people who are in polyamory relationships (more than one). Over the years, I struggled to understand the concept of the poly lifestyle and why people desired it. The people I met were an interesting bunch — They were, like myself, very “off-the-beaten-path” type of people. I found them all to be very intriguing individuals and I’m looking forward to our next meeting to learn more.
One thing to note about polyamorists and the poly lifestyle in general: Everything’s in the open. No one’s hiding their relationships or concealing things which would tarnish their lifestyle or relationship. Honesty is what separates this lifestyle from cheaters.
I must admit that I’m fascinated by the psychology which drives these polyamorists. As I explained to the group, I no longer believe that most human beings are naturally monogamous. My faith in the concept of monogamy has eroded over the years through the adulterous nature (psychological and physical) of friends, family, exes and strangers. Seeking to understand what drives people in traditional relationships to cheat, I’ve arrived at various conclusions over the years, and chief among them is what I’ve already mentioned: Human beings aren’t naturally monogamous!
Frankly, I’m not sure that I could deal with another woman cheating on me. It would most likely end up being a very ugly situation that I would later regret (although I’d like to believe that I could simply walk away without being filled with rage). To my knowledge, there’s only been one woman that cheated on me, and honestly, she was more than I could handle due to her repeat offenses.
So, based on personal experience and that of others, I’ve been alarmed enough to question the reality of human nature and how we truly function. By spending time with these individuals, I believe I’ll one step closer to better understanding the real nature of human desire and multiple relationships.
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Woman Cheats on Boyfriend (And Doesn’t Know Why)
This is one of those WTF?!??! posts.
When I read stories like the one below (and I do read them frequently, I might add), I’m left in awe over the denial of such selfish and inconsiderate acts. For a long time, I used to think that women couldn’t possibly be capable of cheating. Boy, was I wrong! After clubbing myself a few times over the head and waking up from my fantasy, I learned that women were just as capable of the same (if not more).
This woman explains on a forum that she’s cheated once again (yes, she’s cheated several times before) on her boyfriend and she isn’t sure why. To me, this reeks of someone who doesn’t want to be accountable for her lack of consideration for others.
It’s unfortunate that her boyfriend has stayed around this long, and having been in this situation myself, it’s not always easy to sever the emotional bond you’ve established with someone. However, he’ll need to eventually figure out for himself that he deserves more than the inconsideration and infidelity of his girlfriend.
Reading stuff like this reminds me of why it’s great to be a single man. I don’t have to concern myself with anyone’s integrity, trustworthiness, etc. I’m just better off without the majority of people that make up the dating scene, which is a big cesspool of desperate, attention-seeking and lonely souls.
I recently moved across the county with my boyfriend of 2 years. We have had issues with my cheating in the past, but I thought we could move past it. He had the ability to forgive the past and wanted to be with me forever. For some reason I just can’t let myself be loved and happy. I have cheated again and am moving back home to my family. We have made a perfect home together and I have thrown it all away. I hate myself for hurting him, yet I continued to do it. I am so lost. I know I need to leave him so he can move on and find true love, but I struggling getting out the door. What if neither of us can get past this. What if this damaged relationship we have is the best that we can do? I am supposed to be packing right now…but I am sitting here writing this instead. I need to leave, but I am so scared.
Tough shit, I say.
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