Note: As much as I wish for every post to be bright and cheery, I too am human and this is my primary outlet for releasing my thoughts into the universe.
Everyday, I carry a heavy burden upon my shoulders: The knowledge of knowing how life could be. For years, I have sought out individuals who might understand the hodgepodge of details floating around my brain, but so far, I haven’t. What I’ve so long desired is an outlet of understanding and an opportunity to be understood.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve never lived a simple life: It was filled with complex and uncommon thoughts. I analyzed a lot of things, asked myself a lot of questions and attempted to understand my surroundings and the behavior of human beings. There were many things I observed, witnessed and experienced over the years which led to my desperate pursuit of understanding.
Unfortunately, due to a lack of understanding in others, I’ve felt largely isolated for many years. There’s no one in my life that I can speak to about the social issues which trouble me most. And, when I attempt to speak about them, people either draw a blank stare — or are literally ready to fight me.
There are times I daydream about disappearing from society and taking a hiatus for a few months to rejuvenate and regress my frustration — Which seems to occur more frequently these days. It pains me to see the things I do on a daily basis, such as a society which accepts knowledge that has been passed on from generation to generation.
Let it be known that I have no desire to participate in this warped perception of life. There are times where I don’t want to leave home, simply because I don’t always enjoy subjecting myself to a world that’s controlled from the “top down.” However, I have to live, do the things I enjoy and find ways to suppress my frustration with the world at large — It’s not always easy.
While I do not expect a perfect world, I do believe we can achieve much more as human beings if we tried hard enough. We don’t have to love everyone, but we can at least evolve to a level of understanding and enlightenment from which we all can benefit. I continue to dream about this new world, and if there’s ever another life beyond the present, I might eventually have the chance to experience it.
Perhaps one day, I’ll meet someone that will be my equal in thought. I look forward to the conversation.